…like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies

-Nelson Mandela

Freshman year, my schedule was an early morning (8AM) class every day, and then a long block of free time until the afternoon. I would come back to my dorm in between and shower and work. One of my roommates once remarked that he had never seen me do homework. This became a running joke, every time he was in the room I would be reading wikipedia or metafilter or whatever it is that all my time goes to.

One day he caught me doing homework. He laughed, and I, embarrassed, put away my textbook and instead wasted time.

I went home for the weekend. My dad picked me up, and, since my mom is in Taiwan, took me to Outback Steakhouse for dinner.

He recommended I eat a steak. So he picked one and ordered it for me. I ate it and almost cried in joy over its tastiness.

I love going home.

I was just reading an old thread on metafilter and just saw a comment that had more favorites than anything else I’ve ever seen. For some context, there was a post about Mr. Rogers, and like always, people commented on his creepiness.

I have nothing to say about the quoted comment beyond that it resonates.

You know, it’s quite a strange thing. The single most common adjective applied to Mister Rogers in this and other thread is the word ‘creepy’?

I think I know why he strikes people as creepy. It’s because his isn’t at all ‘cool’. There is no cynicism, no irony, no condescension in him at all. He is not simply unhip, he is ahip. And this is what people calling him creepy are picking up on.

We are conditioned to traffic in cool. You have to look cool, not look nice or distinguished or presentable, but cool. But it’s all so generic. Everyone seems to have the same new haircut that no one 5 years ago had. We all have the same cynical politics.

(more…)

I always feel like in the lead up to finals I need to carefully insulate myself against the world. Finals seem so insurmountable even with my normal aura of amazing self-confidence, and any moments of worry tend to be overwhelming for me

I am worried. I want so badly to do so well, and the more I think, the less calm I am.